One thing that we learned from our Newlywed group was the importance of setting expectations. Before we got married, our pre-marital mentors asked us to write down expectations for our marriage: finances, love language, in-laws, friends, kids, future, etc. This helped reduce future arguments since we had already resolved them before they occured. We had read another med-school family's blog about this and decided to do this again. To use an example, it was important that I (the StuDoc) tell my wife what my schedule will be like - waking up early to study and going to bed early. I know that her love language is Quality Time and that I need to let her know when I'll be making time for her.
Below are a few things we talked about:
1. Schedule/Study habits
2. Finances and being on a tight budget
3. How often family/friends visit
4. Late night study groups/studying one on one
5. Date night and quality time
Every couple is different, and therefore each expectation is different. Of course, we are now making expectations on what we "think" will be expected. We promised each other we would go over these expectations a month in and see if what needs to change, if any. For example, study habits might need to change to at night instead of morning. But knowing that she could take that negatively and feel like I'm taking away from 'our time' without telling her.
We have been warned that communication is everything and there's no time for avoidable arguments.
Protecting our marriage,
the B's
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