*Merry Christmas*

Merry Christmas!!!

Here is a summary of all the changes we have encountered this year. Some of you may be confused that you didn't receive a card from Fort Worth. Well, that is because there was a quick change of plans and we moved about 2 weeks before school started. I think, so far, that was the most stressful time of my life. Everything was last minute, moving twice in 1 month, and we didn't know what to expect  (and well that's just not my style). But some amazing people chipped in and made the move possible for us and we will forever be grateful. We feel at home in our new city and have been making lots of friends. It's comforting to know that we trusted God, even though we were too scared to leap, and are where we are supposed to be for the next four years of our lives.

The BIGGEST change this year was the husband starting medical school, which made the headline on our christmas cards. He has done sooo well in school and I am so proud of him! At first it was hard for us to adjust to this small town as well as the medical lifestyle (we've had some funny stories). Now the terminology is becoming a norm for us and he has to be careful about what he talks about in public. It took some time to get used to the schedule of a medical student, which changes weekly for him. It is crazy what you become accustomed to. I am thankful that in all this mess, my husband notices and appreciates the sacrifices we are having to make as a family. But it hasn't been all that bad - I planned for the worst and its not as bad as I expected. I got a new job! I am doing Faculty Development for the Health Science Center. It was definitely God's timing and I'm happy to begin my career in professional development and look forward to the opportunities in the future. I have also started a group that will begin the first week of the new year for all the spouses in medical school. I look forward to getting to know some new girls who are going through the same ups and downs that we are.

For thanksgiving, we headed to Santa Fe and spent the long weekend with my parents and brother and sister-in-law. This time with them was long overdue and our first time to see their new place! My parents absolutely love it there and are having a blast. We look forward to many more vacations there. StuDocs have 2 weeks off after they finish their NBME exam and I have a whole week off! Woohoo! I am so excited to get things done (get organized and caught up on laundry). There is a 'honey-to-do-list' that's been building up the past few months too. I got us some Nutcracker tickets for this week and we will be having Christmas at his parents. We are looking forward to the family time and the downtime to be a normal couple until "Infectious Diseases" starts next semester.

I hope that the holidays treat you and your loved ones well! Count your blessings, count them one by one. Count your blessings, and see what God has done!

Merry Christmas and see you in the New Year!

Love,

C&W

Christmas Parties

Our schedules have been packed! We have had every night scheduled (except for 1 or 2 nights during the week) for the past 3 weeks. If I have to wear another tacky sweater or buy/receive another white elephant gift I might die - Just kidding! It's been so much fun being surrounded by friends, making new ones, and enjoying the holidays.

At my old job, the girls were sweet enough to still include me in their secret santa exchange. So I have been waking up at 7:30 on Mondays to go and drop my gift off each week so they hopefully won't notice it's the one girl that doesn't work there anymore! We have that dinner next week for the big reveal and gift card exchange.

Our Couples Community at church planned a big night where we ordered Fazolis and did a 30 person or so white elephant gift exchange. We brought some ice trays in the shape of Texas and a digital coin counter. Both which were stolen! We came home with some beautiful mugs and 2 books. Woops! Some funny gifts exchanged were: a bug zapper, a gnome statue that was mooning, a stuffed animal dog that barked and farted, toilet paper, boxers, ...

Our Small Group within our Couples Community had a smaller get together. We did a fondue party (2 cheeses and dark chocolate and white chocolate). It was a great idea; everyone hovering around a pot of cheese and talking. It was a tacky sweater party and another white elephant. This time we brought fuzzy socks (big enough to fit a guy) and 2 hand towels with santa's buttons and belt on them. We left with a large coffee santa mug and a paper dart board. Again, we did pretty good!




A group of girls that are students who we have been getting to know were kind enough to invite me to a 'girls night in' scarf exchange. I am definitely stealing this idea for the future! Who doesn't like scarves and one size fits all! Another white elephant gift exchange. I left with one of the new infinity scarves (the ones that are a big loop and you double it up). It was fun to just hang out with the girls.

The med school class of 2015 hosted a little christmas party the other night. It was on a Friday after a test and these students were ready to let loose! It was fun for everyone to hang out. I did worry beforehand about the awkwardness of being a staff member and partying with the students. But I feel it went ok.

Me, Hubby, Ian, and Lindsey at the Christmas Party

At work, the Dean of the College of Medicine and another Doctor invited a hundred people to have lunch with them one Friday. We went to the nicest resteraunt in town. We were served a 3 course meal, including wine (and they kept filling them too!) Can you say expensive??? There were some people who had 1 too many glasses of wine and had to go back to work for the rest of the day. ha! Rule #1 - know your limit and don't get drunk at work events (especially when you have to go back to work!). I was embarrased for some of them. The food was amazing and we were very grateful. This was not hosted by the school and we are pretty sure these two doctors paid out of pocket for this event. Pretty generous!

Our next work party is next week (just through our department). We are getting with our other site (people that I have only met via video conferencing) and going out to lunch. Our director won't tell us the resteraunt, but she said it's the best in town. So I'm hoping it's the one that the Dean took us too! :) Videoconferencing definitely takes some getting used to - you have awkward parts where people talk over eachother, you can't really make eye contact because if you are staring at them then you aren't staring into the camera. It's also hard to join a company culture through videoconferencing. So I'm excited to meet these co-workers face to face and be able to talk to them other than that weeks agenda.

5 down and 2 to go!! I am exhausted and haven't done ANY christmas shopping yet! Yikes! We plan on having a date-day next weekend and spend the whole day shopping and maybe go to a movie and I'm sure hubby wants to stop in a Barnes and Nobles too. Can't wait!

I also got us some Nutcracker tickets! We are very excited. I got cheap ones in the way back (only $12 each) I figure if we are going to start a tradition than we should start in the back and slowly work our way up. That way it gets better each year!



Handmade Christmas Cards



I have also been busy doing our christmas cards. I had such high hopes at the beginning but these christmas parties have stalled them. I am making them myself to save money. But now I might regret it. No not really, it's a lot of work and I have more to do and it's nice to have a project at home. Hopefully, I can get those sent out this week! Hope you all enjoy!



Computer

Buying a laptop for medical school... The school will probably suggest the recommended laptop that will cost about about $1000 - $1500. Should you buy it or stick with the one you already have?
The reason the school suggests this particular laptop is because it prepares you for the one that you will have in residency, apparently (not sure if that is 100% true, since he isn't to residency yet). Because the school recommends a particular laptop, the IT department will fix it whenever you are having any issues, free of charge. A pretty sweet deal, huh? However, if you bring IT a laptop that is not the recommended they will not be able to fix it for you and you are stuck running around finding a place that will or buying a whole new computer. I can't tell you how many students I see freak out about computer issues (and I don't blame them). It's the week of a test and their computer no longer turns on, they have no access to their notes and can no longer study at home and have to study in front of a desktop at school, on top of that worrying about getting the laptop fixed. Can you say stressful and bad timing? I have seen that 3 times in the past 2 months and I'm sure there are more out there. If you have the recommended laptop, take it to IT and you can have their loaner laptop in the meantime. Pretty stress free.

There are only a handful of students who actually bought the recommended (my husband being one of them). And there are plenty of students who do just fine without it. But when a problem does arise, it's comforting to know that you are taken care of.

With that being said, students who have macs have one slight advantage over others. But not big enough to make a huge difference. Tests are given through a particular software that shuts down your computer when the test is downloaded. It essentially shuts it down and opens only the testing program so you do not have access to internet or any other documents while taking your exam. Mac users shutdown and restart in the blink of an eye. While others, go through the normal shut down process and are waiting. Like I said, not a huge difference because everyone finishes at a different time anyways, but Mac users are finished with a few questions before others even start.

Just some things to think about when weighing your options. $1500 is a lot of money for a med-student, but so is freaking out before a test and having to pay another couple hundred to get yours fixed.

Medical Terminology: Gunner

Gunner - (n.) a hyperactive medical student; an overachiever; a student who sits in the front row, answers every question, and is considered annoying to his/her classmates; doing whatever it takes to match for the residency you want

Sometimes it is not a good thing to be called a gunner by a classmate. But other times, students use it pretty losely - "are you gunnin' tonight?" "I was gunning it all weekend." "after dinner, I'm gunning hard til the test." Some students choose a specialty that doesn't require a high test grade, board exam, and so forth. Therefore, they may not need to "gun" as hard as the other students. Some study habits include slacking off and "gunning" right before a test. So when you are surrounded by medical students (or law students) and they say these phrases, do not be alarmed. It takes some getting used to.


PS: my husband is a gunner.

Bridging the gap

How is it going to feel after you have stuck your nose in books 24/7 for 2 years and then jump in to a hospital room and start diagnosing a patient?

As a breakdown, medical school is 4 years. The first 2 years are filled with lectures and textbook material. The last 2 years are rotations. Your 3^rd year is consisted of mandatory rotations: surgery, family medicine, medicine, psych, obgyn, and pediatrics. Your 4^th year is filled with elective rotations, audition rotations, and applying for residency.

One thing that has been brought to light by a lot of institutions is answering this question: Are student’s prepared for 3^rd year rotations? This is when students are required to put everything they have learned in 2 years in to practice (and that’s A LOT of information). Students will be required to answer all of the doctor’s questions quickly and correctly (constantly being tested on the spot). At the same time, they are to remain calm and collected enough to have good bed side manner towards the patient.

Funny story: my 16 year old sister-in-law was in ICU at a children’s hospital this past summer. This happened to be a teaching hospital, where she was bothered every hour, asked the same questions by rounds of medical students, residents, nurses, and doctors throughout the entire day. One medical student was asked to check the discoloration of her finger nails. The student politely asked to look at her hands, told her what he was looking for, and studies her finger nails for quite some time. Writes something down and then stares at them again. My sister-in-law looks up at her mom and they are in disbelief that this student cannot figure out that she has on fake nails! Whether he was extremely nervous or he never had a girlfriend with fake nails before (or any girlfriend for that matter – just kidding!), the family got a good laugh from it all.

Anyways, institutions are trying to better bridge the gap between 1^st and 2^nd year to 3^rd year. Some faculty/doctors have a hard time providing an accurate and consistent curriculum for the students for multiple reasons:

1.      Medicine isn’t a field where every day you see the same things. Students are only able to learn from whatever patients came in that day. It is possible that some students receive a variety of cases and can learn much more, where some might get bored with the routine cases.

2.      Every institution is different. A teaching hospital will get a variety of students from different colleges. With this being said, each college teaches their students differently. Some might have more/better clinical skills than others. Therefore, the doctor teaching might have to ‘dummy down’ to the basics and bring one student up to speed or choose to move on his or her own pace.

3.      Every doctor teaches differently. There is not necessarily a uniform curriculum (due to reasons 1 and 2) the doctor abides by. Some doctors allow their students to get more hands on experience than others. Whoever the student is assigned to can make or break the experience for them. This leaves those ‘Type A students’ upset and dissatisfied that someone else was able to do more than them.

On top of the curriculum, faculty feels that students are just not as prepared (or too timid and uncomfortable) when entering their 3^rd year. Here is an article that might better describe the gap: MedicalEducation as a Process Management Problem

This school notices this gap and has already implemented programs to build bridges and better prepare our students for their first career exposure in 3^rd year. This year was the first year that they introduced a program called “The White Coat Project.” This program gives 1^st years an opportunity to “job shadow” (a term for those business majors out there!) for a few hours about once every few weeks. It is an opportunity for them to basically shadow a doctor of a certain specialty without the stressful environment that 3^rd year brings. Students have been enjoying this program because it serves as a reminder as to why they are studying so hard, will give them a better glimpse of what to expect, and calm the nerves come 3^rd year.

Funny story: a student came in yesterday morning asking me to borrow a pen. I gave him one without a second thought. A few hours later after he was done studying, he generously gave my pen back. But when he handed it to me, he was only touching the ends of the pen with his fingertips and says “here, let me rub some hand-sanitizer on it because I have been sucking on it all day.” SUCKING ON IT??? First of all, who says that? Biting yes, sucking no! Second, I understand people bite on their pens, but don’t actually admit it when you are handing it back to me. In this case, ignorance would have been a bliss for me. Anyways, he holds the pen ever so gently, uses my hand-sanitizer on my desk, and douses it. Not one squirt, but two or three for just a small pen – seriously!? My pen (after being ‘sucked on’) is now dripping with hand-sanitizer. As he is doing this, I repeatedly tell him “No really, you can keep it!!” and he insists on giving it back to me. He notices I refuse to reach out and grab my wet pen so he walks over to the side of my desk (still carefully holding the ends of the pen with his fingertips) and lays it in my drawer on top of all my other pens. Thanks dude!! I ended up throwing my pen away.
One of the services my office offers, is mock interviews. I will definitely be emailing this kid and saying the he NEEDS to come in for a mock interview and work on his social skills. Rule number one on your interview for residency: do NOT borrow their pens! Ha!

New Job

I got a new job! I am doing Faculty Development for the COM. In undergrad, I actually worked in Career Services, Professional Development, and was always working closely with faculty and staff to help my peers (and myself, simultaneously) reach their full potential professionally. I am excited because this job is in the direction I want to go into and is a great starting point for this career. There are some amazing staff members who I will be able to learn from, let alone great networking opportunities. This is something I can also see myself doing when we move again for residency. We are quickly learning how tight knit this so called 'medicine family' actually is. And I am happy to have the opportunity to be a part of it professionally as well.

This blog might take a few quick turns and provide you with information on how medical educators are currently preparing our future doctors. I'll definitely have some articles to share and more insights, as well as our personal journey too!

This is just one more brick in our journey...

How to date a med student

Fox News wrote an article "How to Date a Med Student" A new friend of mine (also dating a med student here) shared this article with me and we got a few laughs out of it. Some of these are VERY true!

1. Don't expect to see them. Ever.
2. Accept the fact they will have many affairs. With their books.

3. Learn to hide your “ew, gross” reactions when they tell you all the stuff you never wanted to know about your bodily functions.

4. Support them when they come home after each test, upset because they failed—and gently remind them after they get their well above passing grade how unnecessary the “I’m going to fail out of medical school and never become an MD” dramatics are.
5. Each week they will have a new illness. Some will be extremely rare, others will be more mundane. Doesn’t matter. They will be certain they have it (no second opinions necessary.) Med school can, and will, turn even the sanest into a hypochondriac. Date them for long enough, and you’ll become one too.

6. There will be weeks you'll forget you even have a boyfriend—friends will ask how he is and you'll say, “What? Who? Oh....right. He's well...I think.”

7. They'll make you hyper-aware that germs are everywhere and on everything. Even though you used to walk into your home with your shoes on, and sit on your bed in the same clothes you just wore while riding the subway, or sat on a public bench in, you'll become far too disgusted to ever do it again. Believe me, it's going to get bad...you'll watch yourself transform into the anal retentive person you swore you'd never become. And when you witness others perform these same acts that, before you began dating your med student, you spent your entire life doing too, you'll wince and wonder, “Ew! How can they do that? Don't they know how many germs and bacteria they're spreading??!”

8. Romantic date = Chinese take-out in front of the TV on their 10 minute study break.

9. A vacation together consists of a trip down the street to Walgreens for new highlighters and printer paper.

10. Their study habits will make you feel like a complete slacker. For them, hitting the books 8-to-10 hours a day is not uncommon, nor difficult. You'll wonder how you ever managed to pass school on your meager one hour of studying per night.

11. They're expected to know everything. Everything! The name of the 8 billion-lettered, German sounding cell that lives in the depths of your inner ear, the technical term for the “no one's ever heard of this disease” disease that exists only on one foot of the Southern tip of the African continent. But ask them if your knee is swollen, or what you should do to tame your mucous-filled cough, or why the heck your head feels like someone's been drilling through it for oil for two weeks straight, and they won't have a clue.

12. “My brain's filled with so much information, I can't be expected to remember THAT!" will be the standard excuse for forgetting anniversaries, birthdays, and, if you get this far, probably the birth of your first-born.

13. You'll need friends with unending patience who pretend never to get sick of listening to your endless venting and complaints. Or, you'll need to pay a therapist who will pretend never to get sick of listening to your endless venting and complaints.

Roles of the wife

She supplies the missing pieces of her husband's puzzle. What the husband begins, the wife finishes and refines. Man provides the raw materials and the woman polishes them.

One illustration another wife in our group made was the husband builds the house for the family, but the woman goes in and makes it the home. Together they build it to provide and protect their family. One is not a home without the other.

Marriage is filled with lots of 'help' - as in we are constantly helping eachother. I bring him dinner while he's studying late at the library and he always helps me get things down in our closet that I can't reach. :) We are in this together and are partners through life. When I say that, I stop and think "what if I was married to someone who I didn't love or respect? What if I was asked to pick up the extra slack around the house for a stranger or someone who I didn't love? Man, it's a good thing I love him!" If I was married to someone who I didn't respect, I would be one bitter lady doing my share of the 'helping.' I can't imagine helping anyone else.

Created differently

We just recently finished a study in our small group. We did it over a study called Life 101 - Marriage Edition by Dr. Bob and Ann Livesay at Pine Cove. We have always been fascinated about marriage - the roles a husband and wife play. Throughout college we've read Wild at Heart, Captivating, Love and Respect. God made everything on purpose and he made men and women different for a reason.

The Lord God took the man and placed him in the garden of Eden to work it and watch over it ... Then the Lord God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is like him." ... Then the Lord God made the rib He had taken from the man into a woman and brought her to the man. - Genisis 2:15,18,22
- Man was formed from the ground for the ground and is therefore work-oriented. Woman was formed from a man, for a man; she is, therefore, relationally oriented.

How true is this? StuDoc definitely prioritizes achievements and goals, where I focus more on relationships.  Can you imagine if two people were only work-oriented or only relational. They would miss out on a lot in life. It always helps to be reminded that we were created different for a reason. Instead of trying to change eachother we should be better about listening and find a compromise. With little time that we get to spend with eachother, we don't have time to fight over silly things.

One thing we learned during this study was actually something a friend had suggested. She said that a lot of times her and her husband will end up arguing just to argue. For example, the argument can just get escalated into something bigger than it started out to be. She said, now when they can't agree on something they ask eachother on a scale from 1-10 how important is this to you? Usually, it ends up being really important to one person and not as much to the other. Maybe deciding on where christmas decorations should go, how the dishwasher should be organized, taking care of the cars, etc. I think we will quickly learn that most of the time we are fighting for something we don't really care what the outcome is. We'll notice that it quickly escalated into the crazy cycle.   It will be hard to remember in the middle of an argument to stop and ask the question how important is this to you, but it's worth the try!

Roles of the husband

to love their wives, to lead their wives, and to live with their wives

When a man leads their wife and family he must take the initiative and be engaged/involved. We actually talked about how it will be interesting with his profession how 'involved' he will actually get to be. Will this be an ongoing battle for his kids and wife to be tugging on him to spend more quality time with them or will this just have to be one of those things the family will need to accept and understand that he is busy saving lives? Having a family is just as important to my husband as it is to me. I know that this is something that he internally will struggle with. When reading other doctor's wives' blogs, a common theme is the doctor missing out on birthdays, sporting events, holidays, and get togethers. I know that this is something I will understand and eventually adjust to. But we worry about our future kids. How quickly will they understand why their dad misses their little league games? Eventually, just like every child, they will grow up and realize the sacrifices their parents made for their well-being and have more of an adult perspective looking back on their childhood.

And of course, not every doctor lives this way. Some work 8-5 Monday through Friday, some work 48 hours straight and 72 hours off, and some are just always on call. When these Student Doctors are deciding which specialty they want to go into, the life-style of each one plays a vital role for most.

Back to College?

Sometimes I wish I could retake some college classes. Weird, I know! At the time, I wish I was mature enough or had the time to have taken some of them more seriously and gain as much out of them as I could. Students are so pressured to just make the good grade and get out, instead of actually learning as much as they can. If there weren't any grades, I probably would have paid more attention. Strange how that works, huh?

I have been struggling a lot lately and wishing I completed my masters. It really is true when they say do it right out of college, because once you are out, you'll never go back. Watching my husband in school and studying as hard as he does, does NOT make me want to go back to studying. But at times, I wish I had furthered my education. Decisions, decisions...

Jealous

Some people want a normal life - an 8-5 job, house, 2 cars, a number of kids, live in the suburbs - or whatever you consider to be "normal." Some people dream big, always changing, and live spontaneously. I'll let you guess which one I am and which one my husband is. We balance each other out.

Before entering this journey of medical school, we discussed what it was going to be like. We tried to predict how hard it would be. One thing that we were right on was how we'd envy our friends who aren't in this journey. It's hard having life goals, plans, time lines, and so on that can't be met and watching other people achieve them. It's hard watching friends buy houses, have babies, new cars, nice vacations, and all things that we can't afford. It's hard to know that we have a very long road ahead of us before we will be there.

Sometimes we need to embrace the season of life that we're in. Embrace being poor, enjoy relying on nothing but each other, have faith. How can you have faith if you have everything?

On the average day, we don't consider God very much. On the average day, we forget that our life is truly vapor. But there is nothing normal about today. Just think about everything that must function properly just for you to survive. For example, your kidneys. The only people who really think about their kidneys are people whose kidneys don't work correctly. The majority of us take for granted our kidneys, liver, lungs, and other internal organs that we're dependent upon to continue living. ... It's crazy that we think today is just a normal day to do whatever we want with. - Francis Chan's Crazy Love

We have been blessed with this time to rely on God. Sometimes waiting patiently makes the gift that much better. And by gift, I mean the opportunity to buy our first home, car, new furniture, and so on.

So although, my life isn't according to my plan, I need to be better about embracing the season of life that we're in. Maybe some day I'll miss it? - a car that can break down at any time, no microwave, using quarters to do our laundry, and being conscious about every $20 we spend. Now granted, we are living below our means and living consciously, as we should. We are learning life lessons that we will use in the future (limited communication, living below our means, relying on God, and so on) and we don't even realize it. Whenever you ask doctors who were married in medical school, they always say their favorite time is when they were poor with their spouses. My parents, too, have told us that if you have to live on rice and beans to make your dreams come true, than do it - You only live once.

You have to give up the life you planned to find the life you have.  Or else, life will pass you by.

Some people just don't understand

Sometimes we are reminded how much people do not understand what StuDoc is going through and the sacrifices he makes. Friends and family will probably be adjusting for quite sometime. Some people think he's rude, a bad friend, or cheap. So here's an opportunity to clarify...

1. On MANY occasions I find out that when we go to bed he literally does not know what day it is. And then starts the guessing game and it still takes a while for him to guess right. I'm always shocked when this happens. This is my reminder of how stressed he really is.
2. He only has one free weekend in a whole month to visit with friends and his family, get things done, or have 24 hours straight of relaxation.
3. People will think he's rude for not responding quickly.
4. If he took the time to message, call, or visit with you - you're at the top of his list.
5. Don't be offended if I plan something on his behalf - he asked me to.
6. If we leave some place early, it's because he needs to go to bed so we can wake up around 4:30/5am to start studying.
7. When we decline an invitation, sometimes it's simply because we just didn't budget for it.
8. Sometimes he forgets that talking about digging out the intestines with a spoon on his cadaver is NOT dinner table topic. Again, don't be offended, just change the subject.
9. He's constantly changing his study habits (studying in a group, studying by himself, studying in the morning, studying at night). This is because he's constantly trying to improve. So if your trying to adapt to his schedule and trying to know when he's awake, it's pointless. One week he goes to bed at 10 and the next week he goes to bed at 3am and some weeks he takes naps during the day.
10. Some people think he fell off the face of the earth. I guess that's a good assumption for now.


It breaks my heart watching him go through all of these because I know how hard he works and the sacrifices he makes. Trust me, he'd rather be sitting on a couch with a beer watching football on a Saturday than at a cold lonely library. Encourage him. I think it's always important for him to be reminded of life outside of medical school. It keeps him grounded.

I am happy to say that all of his hard work and sacrifices payed off for CPM1! I am so proud!! :)

On his way to CPM2...

Studying in Public

As we sit in a coffee house now, StuDoc's studying and I'm making updates to our blog. A little girl is sitting behind us and I realize my hubby's studying the male reproductive system. After the little girl and her mommy leave, he tells me that he was trying to cover his computer so that she wasn't catching glimpses of his diagrams. That poor girl will probably be asking her mommy some questions when she gets home! Oops!

This also goes for our dinner conversations as well. It has now become the norm to talk about some 'interesting' medical topics while we are out to dinner. We should probably be more cautious as to who could be listening in and who might not find them that 'interesting.'

Still learning.

Blog Updates

For security reasons down the road, I made some updates to make our blog protective of our personal information.

Same blog, same lives, different title...

What would you do?

Today, my husband pointed out a doctor and said "he is a plastic surgeon that specializes in hands. once, he took someones big toe to replace their thumb." I said that's the dumbest thing i've ever heard. and we have been arguing about it ever since!! It's been a funny morning. Here are our reasons.

Her arguments:

1) when you would eat buffalo wings or ribs, you would be licking your big toe - gross!
2) it would look weird - your big toe is almost twice the size of your thumb (see picture)
3) you'd have to relearn how to walk/run and probably live with a limp.
4) why would i just switch my disability? if i lost my thumb, i'd live without a thumb. not take off my big toe and now have to relearn how to run/walk.
5) i personally think it would be easier to adjust to life without a thumb, than without a big toe. and yes, while we were eating at chipotle we tried picking things up without using our thumbs.
6) while sitting on the couch, i stick my feet in his face, to let him know this is what it would be like if my toe was a thumb and i touched your face. he didn't appreciate it very much. point made.
7) i wouldn't be able to wear cute heels! haha.

His arguments:

1) Ok, first all of those reasons are little cosmetic petty reasons. 

2) Your thumb is incredibly important.  Every little thing we do with our hands involves our thumb!!

3) Writing, eating, using tools, holding your baby!  You need your thumb

4) Yes, you would have to do some rehab on your balance but it could definitely be done.  

5) A lot of people are dependent on their hands for their livelihood so that would definitely be an instance where I dont think there is any debate.

He wouldn't let me take a picture of his toe/new thumb...

We have been laughing all morning about this, practicing not using our thumbs, and getting our friends involved for their opinion. We will just have to agree to disagree on this one.

So, we will leave you with this...

If you lost your thumb and the doctor suggested taking away your big toe and re-attaching as your thumb, would you agree to go through with the procedure?

***Here is an interview with a man who actually had the procedure done***

A Celebration of Knowledge

One of the Doctors informed us during orientation that he likes to call his tests "a celebtration of knowledge." I'd like to think I would have done even better on tests in college if the professors called them a celebration of knowledge!

What are medical school tests like?
6-8 hours long
2-3 parts (biochem, histo, anatomy)
just one part is 200 questions
and another part is timed
one test every two weeks
the first test average was a 74
3 level questions
we've met a few people who admit they don't know how to study because they never had to try hard in undergrad and made A's and failed their first medschool test
during orientation, they say your StuDoc will be trying to absorb the amount of information equivalent to trying to drink from a fire hose.

This makes me cringe when I think of taking a test like that every 2 weeks! I keep finding myself saying things like "better you than me!" and "there's a reason why I'm not in medschool!"

Last test, he got sick. Sick to the point where he was coughing all night and it took him a while to go to sleep, and that was after getting home at 1am from the library. I felt so bad for him and was bringing him more medicine to the library every night. Luckily, he did well on his test and got to rest and get better over the weekend to start studying for the next test. Rule number 1: no time for getting sick!!

This week he is taking his 3rd test (I mean celebration of knowledge!) and he is showing his true colors, as in his competitiveness is coming out full fledged! Of course, he only shows this side to me. As I write this, I actually just got a text from him saying two girls just ran out of the anatomy lab bawling because they are so stressed out :( I always feel so bad for them because I know that would be me if I were in their shoes!

Everyone in med school is smart, that's how you got in. But the people that do well are the ones that know how to study and are self motivated and determined. You will also hear Doctors during orientation say how medical school is not only to learn the material, but learn how to do well under pressure, with no sleep, and be able to balance your life all for when you are an M.D.

After this test, the next one falls on my birthday! Yay!! (not!) This is supposedly the hardest test of the semester because it's the end of the first block. Awesome. All the other tests were on a Friday, but this one is on a Monday. I've heard some people say they like tests on Monday and some prefer Friday. If it's on Friday - Pro: you have the weekend to relax Con: you are studying last weeks material and what you are learning that day in class. If it's on a Monday - Pro: you have all weekend to catch up and study Con: say goodbye to fun weekends mister! Which means no celebrating my birthday for us that weekend. But don't worry, I already have a long-time-needed girls weekend planned. Good for me and gives him more time to study without feeling guilty!    Can't wait!! :)

Communication is Key

W: I'm sorry I've been falling behind on the laundry. I keep saying I'm going to do it and then I keep picking up extra shifts at work.
C: It's ok.
W: Haven't you ran out of underwear or shorts yet?
C: No, I've been getting some out of that laundry basket on the floor.
W: Ummmm, thats the pile of dirty clothes I've keep meaning to wash.
C: -pause- so that's probably why people have been giving me weird looks at school

Hahahaha, I laughed so hard at lunch today! This is what happens when it's test week and we don't communicate for a few days.

To my defense, I was in the middle of doing the laundry and took an extra shift last minute. I've been working a lot the past few days (a girl just found out she's pregnant and has been calling in sick a lot).
To his defense, this is the laundry basket that I use while I'm doing laundry and usually ends up with clean clothes that haven't been folded yet.
And to his defense, since he works out everyday he goes through athletic shorts, socks, and underwear so fast sometimes I can't keep up. I just need to go buy him more of a each.


Poor guy and poor people he sits next to at school! haha. Next time, if I put off laundry halfway through I'll be sure to put a sign on it that says "still dirty!"

And now I'm off to do our laundry!!!!! =)

Brain Food

Mr. Competitive wanted to know what he should eat the night before and morning of his tests. So we did a little research online.

Check out my new grocery list:

Salmon and Sardines - Omega-3
Spinach, black beans, and blueberries - also good antioxidants
Cranberries - reduce brain cell damage after a stroke
Folic Acid - prevents aging diseases like Parkinsons and Alzheimers
Curry - can help prevent Alzheimers
Chocolate/cacao beans- has the most antioxidants {don't tell my mother!! haha, this is an ongoing argument in our family!}
Green tea (matcha) - what Japanese monks would use for 12 hour meditation, good for memory and focus
Acai berries - protect the brain from stress, improve learning capacity
Coffee beans - good antioxidants, reduces mental decline, prevent Alzheimers
Walnuts - Vitamin E
Avocados - helps with a healthy blood flow (healthy brain)
Pomegranate Juice - good antioxidants {and my dad is cheering!}
Eggs - choline, good for memory





WebMD article
BrainReady

New Friends and Food Tidings

FACT:  SHE wants to hang out with as many people as possible and desiring to make more friends. HE is tired and just wants to relax, not spend more time with the people he's with all day.

I say "fact" because we have had arguments on more than one occasion about this and in our household it just needs to be recognized as a fact. I am constantly trying to get him to rally up a group together for dinner, a movie, or day at the lake. Right now, our friends consist of other StuDocs and topics revolve around medical school this and that. And he just wants to come home and relax with his wife. We are learning to compromise on this.

Our church recently made a posting about a Kickoff for new young couples community. I jumped and dragged my husband! Just kidding, he was excited to go too. We hate entering groups in the middle. So much, that we even hate entering an event late (in the middle) and everyone is already clicked off in groups . So when they say "kickoff" I knew we better go this week so that we are joining at the beginning and with other newcomers too. We show up to the kickoff, and let me tell you, we have never felt so welcomed. Immediately someone came up to us and introduced themselves, and before we sat down we had already met a bunch of people. And it wasn't that awkward pity "I'll come talk to you because you look lonely/pathetic" introduction, everyone was genuine and offered for us to sit with them. Never once were we by ourselves or felt out of place.  Just a reminder of how much making others feel welcome and being sincere can truly go on first impressions.

Now a little about the group.. A few things that stuck out to me - this group of 25+ married couples really take care of each other. For example, if you are sick, have surgery, a death in the family, or just had a baby the group quickly orchestrates a meal plan for you and couples volunteer to bring you food. They do this by using a website called Food Tidings. Ever heard of it? Me neither, so I checked it out. This website is a place where you can put together a calendar for people to sign up on what days to bring the family food, you put a place with what you're bringing so you don't make the family eat lasagna three nights in a row, it will have the family's address, list any food allergies, and any likes or dislikes. How cool is that? The group also throws diaper baby showers, have girls night, and guys night. I especially like the idea of the girls night because it will be the solution to our "fact" :) The group seems to be well organized in the sense that they are not all 'talk' but actually take action and are consistent.

We explained to them our situation - I may have to come alone sometimes - and they said that happens a lot.  We even met a doctor from Scott and White who is in his intern year. I'm sure we will flag them down eventually and ask them questions.

God puts friends in your life for a reason, even if it is only for a season.

Labor Day Weekend

We had a great labor day weekend! This is the first weekend we've been able to spend a whole 24 hours together. And the fact that it's a three day weekend, made it that much better. Usually our weekends are full of studying at the hospital and working on Saturdays. StuDoc had his second test on Friday, so there was minimum studying this weekend and I was fortunate enough to get the weekend off work. We drove into Austin to spend time with friends and headed to Lago Vista to celebrate my brother-in-laws birthday. The weather has been HOT to say the least. We were at 75 days at 100* or above in a year and 27 consecutive days. We broke records! As much as we hate the heat, you can't keep Texans from being competitive! It's bad to say, but I keep hoping one of these hurricanes will hit the gulf coast and give us some rain. Rain we didn't get, but wind and cooler weather we did. We have had great weather in the 70s and 80s. It's all everyone talked about and put everyone in a great mood. However, the wind brought some bad with it... Wildfires are spreading and picking up like crazy. Now that I write this (a week after labor day), we are up to 14,000 acres burned in Bastrop. Over Labor Day alone, there were fires at Bastrop, Steiner Ranch, Pflugerville, Cedar Park and Leander, Perdenales, Spicewood... all being evacuated from their homes. When we drove back on Monday, there were seperate clouds of smoke in each direction.

Here is a picture I found on the internet. This is the road you take from Austin to Bastrop. I used to drive this road when I would visit him in Nacogdoches.

I am in the middle of putting together some clothes for donations. If you would like to join in helping, you can make monetary donations to the Central Texas Fire Relief.

pinterest

New addiction: pinterest
This makes googling for ideas and DIY projects so much easier!! I'm in love/addicted. I already have a long list of projects I want to do. I can't wait to have a house to decorate, $money$, and my own craft room. Wouldn't you love a craftroom like this??

love, love, love!!

This addiction has me making my christmas wish list early with a cricut machine and sewing machine on the list. I look forward to my own craftroom someday!



I was so happy that I found one DIY project, I've already done:

I used an old frame, covered with fabric, put the glass back on, and we write little notes/reminders on it to eachother. So easy and looks great!


Here are a few of my favorite pins/DIY projects so far:

mason jar turned into a soap dispenser


wine glass dipped into chalkboard paint - great for parties


wreath made out of cinammon sticks - that would smell good



I'll definitely blog when I complete them! In the meantime, I'm busy pinning!

Tests = dessert to celebrate

Brownie Balls
on test day

similar to cake balls, but better! Cake balls were just too messy and goo-ey for me. Brownie balls are so much better...

1. make a batch of brownies
2. when warm, crumble and form little balls with your hands
3. freeze for a few minutes to harden
4. melt chocolate bark
5. dip each brownie ball into chocolate and let cool on foil
6. melt colored candy (from Michaels) and put into ziplock bag; cut a small corner and squeeze and decorate!

Some people freeze the brownie balls afterwards, but I like them at room temperature because it's easier to bite in to. You could freeze and then later let thaw, but then they tend to sweat and the chocolate begins to melt a little.

Ice Cream Pie

for a great first test grade!

1. layer pan with vanilla wafers

2. scoop a gallon of vailla ice cream onto the wafers

3. melt: 1/2 bag of marshmellows, 1/3 cup of evaporated milk, and 1/2 a bag of chocolate chips

4. poor chocolate on ice cream and freeze for a few hours

5. when ready to serve, thaw for a few minutes

This recipe I got from his mom. It's a regular at their house, and will soon be in ours! Next were going to try oreos with mint chocolate chip ice cream and chocolate.

Have a yummy week!

For the City

Our church in Austin ruined us for life. Ok, not really. But seriously, no church compares to the Austin Stone. It is an amazing church that is doing amazing things. We had this mentality when finding a new church in our new city. We missed the stone so much that we have driven on a Sunday 3 hours there and back just for church (while he studies in the car). Today, the sermon was about their project For the City and a church's mission.

Types of Churches:
1. In the city - no lasting impact
2. against the city - protects themselves from the city
3. of the city - tries not to offend the city and therefore waters down the gospel
4. for the city - for his glory

It shouldn't be just the preachers in the churches trying to impact the city. It should be the businessmen changing the local businesses, teachers impacting the children, police officers, doctors and nurses, and the list goes on. He hand picked us to be in this partifular city at this time during this lifetime.

This struck a chord in our hearts. Instead of having the mindset of what can this small town church do for us, we should be thinking what can we do for our town? God could not have been more clear that he wants us in this town at this time for a reason. I mean, he brought us here in his own way and in his own timing and everything fell into place to make that happen.

What can we do for our small town?

To My Beautiful Wife

Ok, so this is really the first post I have written and it is more of a dedication/show of appreciation to my beautiful wife.  Medical school is hard.  Ok, that is just fact. Over the last week leading up to my first test, I literally slept four or less hours a night and was up at the library until two in the morning.  Not once did Whitney complain.  Not only did she not complain she would call or text me just to encourage me and tell me how proud she was.  At one o'clock when I had been studying for twelve hours that day (No, I'm not exagerating at all) she would send me an encouraging text.  She was amazing.  In this process, and we are really early in this process, she has had to bear the brunt of the difficulty.  My amazing wife, quit a job that she was really good at, left the town she had always lived in, moved to a town with no jobs and no friends.  She did that all for me.  God knows I do not deserve her, but I want her to know that I could not and would not want to go through all of this without her.  Whitney you are a blessing from God and you always have been in my life.  Thank you for your unending love and support. I look forward to the life God has blessed us with.  A life dedicated to serving and caring for God's people. 

Valet

Because the school is attached to the hospital it is impossible to find parking. Several times my husband has left for school driving around the parking lot, couldn't find a spot, runs home, and I drive him back to drop him off. Imagine if you actually had an emergency?

Scott and White offers valet parking for their ER. At first, we laughed and thought how odd that was. But then we realized what a great idea! In what better situation would you need valet? Now, it seems silly that restaurants have valet and not all hospitals do. I know they usually have a circle drive in or drop off area, but you still have to bring someone with you to go park the car. Other hospitals are catching on. Some hospitals charge, but Scott and White's is free.



Definitely something to check out at your local hospital!

We aren't alone...

I have come across another blog for medical school wives and have always enjoyed reading their stories. This one in particular reminded me so much of my recent "weird" post. It makes for a good laugh, too!

Med School Tagalongs - Ruined Forever



It's nice to know we aren't alone!

Schedule

For those of you wondering, here is this StuDoc's schedule so far. He sticks to it and is very self motivated. There are a few people in class he has talked with who are shocked about how much work is involved. But once you graduate, they view it more of a right of passage to be a doctor. With this schedule, he has been ahead of his game. His first test is in a week and he is taking it in stride as he listens to his classmates freak out, complain, or even cry. Others will be pulling all nighters, while he will be sticking to his schedule. We have heard the saying everyone in med school is smart (or else you wouldn't have got in) but it really comes down to hard work and self motivation.


4am-6am - wake up and study
6am - walk to the gym and work out
730am - home to shower and get ready
830am - leave for class
9am-4pm - classes, study during lunch
4pm-630pm - stay at school and study
630pm-830pm - eat dinner and relax
830pm-1130pm - study

So he's getting about 8 hours of studying in each day not including class time. Wow! I didn't realize it was that much because I only see him studying when he comes home after dinner. He got this schedule from that blog he talked about with the good organization tips who is also a morning person like him. It helps that he studies by reading and is a fast reader. An MS2 who has 2 kids and pregnant with their 3rd gave my StuDoc some advice for this schedule. He suggested staying at school for one more hour or two and that's the best time to review what you just learned. That way when you come home you can give your full attention to your wife/family. Maybe being married in medical school is good/better in that it disciplines you to study and be productive with your time. Another tip they received at their MCO group is to even be productive with your down town.

Hubby came home the other day talking about how a 40ish year old StuDoc was complaining about how much work was involved and how he felt the teachers weren't helping him as much as they should. The response was "not only are you supposed to learn the material, but learn time management, how to deal with stress, and lack of sleep."

Everyone studies differently and this is just what works for him. One of his classmates said that he studied more in these two weeks than he ever did in a whole semester at UT. Maybe the best way to prepare for med school is to alraedy know how you study. Like he said, everyone's smart but the one's that do well are going to be the harder workers.


Test
His first test is coming up! He said it was 6 hours long - 3 hours in the morning and 3 hours in the afternoon. And this isn't even a board exam! After this first test, if he happens to not do well, it won't be because he didn't study enough but needs to study differently, learn what the professors are asking, or the level of depth. Which would be an easier fix for the next test. One difference he mentioned between undergrad and medical school is the level of depth. For example, in college they would ask "what is this" but in medical school they ask "what is this? where is it located? what does it do? if it shuts down, what happens to the body?"


Atleast he's doing well now and his spirits are up, and it's ok if it gets worse from here. But there are some people we've talked to who already hate it and it's only going to get even worse for them. On our date night this week, he actually said he's enjoying medical school! I think he found his calling...

Weird

Here are a few weird things that happened this evening that I found note worthy...

So, the church we go to offers a bible study/fellowship group for medical students and families. This is put on by the residents and attendings. They have dinner and a speaker (typically a doctor from the hospital sharing their faith). It's a great place to meet older students, residents, and attendings that will be the director for their rotations in MS3 & 4. We have really enjoyed getting to know all of them and will continue. .... Buuuut here are some weird things that happened tonight....

1) This is about the 3rd night we have gone now and everyone has been so sweet to me (W) and makes an effort to start up conversations with me that are non-medical (which is really hard for most of them, haha). The few non-medical spouses are more of the residents, older, and with a baby on their hip. So I'm sitting at a table with some MS1s and some MS3s. You can imagine the MS1s asking the MS3s questions like "how are your rotations? what all do you get to do?" and so forth. I have never felt so out of place... these MS3s were describing things and using words that I can't even remember, pronounce, or spell for you. One MS1 asked what a word was and when she defined it, I still didn't have a clue what it was. The only word I recognized was vaginal. So maybe it was a good thing that I don't know what they were talking about. I am following the conversation with my eyes and my mouth open, and whatever they were saying sounded really interesting! I just didn't have a clue what they were talking about! Hubby apologized and knew that I had nothing to give in to the conversation. I actually tried to partake in the beginning... for example a 3rd year said he was in his 'medicine' rotation. I think to myself "Medicine? Well isn't this all medicine? Maybe he's learning about actual medicine/prescriptions?" Wouldn't you think that? I don't know. So, to show that I was interested, I asked him "what do you do for 'medicine'? What does that entail?" He said internal medicine. (apparently 'medicine' is short for internal medicine) Oh! Well that would make more since. I am quickly learning their lingo (or their language - words that i understand atleast!) and learning which questions to ask and which questions to lean over and whisper to my husband.

2) One MS3 girl at the table was doing her surgery rotation. She was going on and on about how cool it was and using words I don't know, blah, blah, blah. She mentioned how right now she is doing her pediatric surgery and she says (get this!) that she "loves cutting open babies because their skin is so easy to cut. It's like cutting butter!" Um, ew!!! She was really enthusiastic about it too. That is weird and NOT dinner table topics. But I am the only one at the table that's not a medical student and probably the only one that thought it was weird. To her defense, she didn't know I wasn't a student and therefore wasn't holding anything back.

3) Our speaker for the evening was an obgyn doctor. He was a really nice guy and enjoyed what he had to say. However, when the other doctor (the leader of this group) introduced him as the speaker he mentioned it was his dear friend, they went to residency together, he thought of him as part of their family, and that he delivered his 3rd child and going to deliver their 4th. And the wife was sitting pregnant in the room. Um, weird! Your friend is your obgyn doctor?? That's just weird! He went on to joke 'the ladies love him and the husbands trust him.' I didn't think that was funny and leaned over to my husband and said "awkward! she's in the room!" This is ironic because just the other day we were talking about how in the future we are going to know all the doctors at the hospital and how I will refuse to have someone we know or probably even know of be my doctor. That's just weird! I know doctors view the body differently, but I, a normal person, still view my body as my body! Granted, in this situation the wife was actually an ER doctor too so she fell into the 'it's just a body' category. All of her friends and people she knows are doctors so she probably didn't event think twice. But for me, that's just weird!!

GROSS anatomy

I walked in to our spare (office) room this morning and found a disection kit on the desk. I remembered he said he bought it used from an MS2. I open it.. i was curious! And I will pretend it was "dirt" (even though I can only HOPE that's what it was) in the corners of the box and then thought to my self... these tools sitting in MY home were used to cut open another human being.... gross!! And it kinda had a stinch when I opened it too. I am definitely going to have to gain a stronger stomach if he's going to tell me stories of gross anatamy lab.

I did make it clear that his scrubs he wears during his anatomy lab... I will not be washing. I do not want tissue, fat, blood from a cadaver rolling around in my washing machine... gross gross gross! And everyone keeps telling me to beware of the cadaver smell when he comes home. I wonder if I can get him to take a shower at the hospital?

-W

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Anatomy lab is set up differently here than maybe at some other schools. We chose our tank group (being our cadaver tank). Six people are in a group. Four people go to the anatomy class and have to go back and teach the other two students. Those two students take a quiz and everyone in the group gets their quiz score. Tank groups were chosen on the first day of school. So it's important to be getting to know everyone during orientation week. MS2s say that the most important thing you can do is have a good tank group.

Some classes are set up where a different doctor teaches each day. It's a great way to network with all the doctors in the hospital. I actually got a chance to talk to the surgeon today who offered for me to come and sit in on the orthopedic grand rounds with the other residents tomorrow morning. This is one reason why I love being at Scott and White because everyone is always willing to help and allow you shadow any time. The ratio between doctors and students is definitely in the students favor.

Today was the first day of gross anatomy lab, and I loved it.  I really enjoyed studying the anatomy and "doing surgery" on the cadaver.  It only confirmed how much I love surgery, and how important anatomy is for a surgeon. 

-C

First Week - Orientation

The first week/orientation consisted of: the White Coat Ceremony on Monday, curriculum, expectations, guidelines, IT support, introductions, information on clubs and organizations, ice breakers, assigning tanks, parking stickers, badges being made, and one day of lecture. Our weekend was pretty relaxed.

Some of these studocs are stressed even before the first day of class. Some were shocked to find out on Sunday how much reading was required for Monday's class and even stayed up all night on day one! When he sat down and measured all of the reading, reviewing, and studying he would have to do everyday for each class, there was literally not enough hours in the day. Some people say it is not uncommon to skip class just to study because your time is more efficient that way. Luckily, the MS2s are providing good feedback as to what professors take questions only from lectures and what professors you should should focus reading.

EVERYTHING is online (and most prefer everything in paper to study). I think these professors forget that this generation still grew up using paper and actual books to study. They are about one or two generations ahead of themselves! Even their tests are taken on the computer. It doesn't help that they post eBooks that are hundreds of pages and even printing at the school costs money.

StuDoc's Advice:

- be a computer genius to be able to re-format and download their software

- don't have a mac computer if the professors/school doesn't use mac (unless your computer genius)

- begin reading the day you get your reading assignments

-pick good tank mates

- buy a good printer

- make time for Shark Week! :)

If you know this StuDoc, than you know he's already ahead of his game and not stressed (yet)!

Inception Into First Year

The 2nd years made a video for the 1st years...

Inception Into First Year: A Bohemian Rhapsody Parody about Med School

A few things to keep in mind so that the video is more comical: a Foley Catheter is a catheter that goes into your urethra so that you can go to bathroom when you are unconscious. Donna is in charge of Student Affairs. The tall guy actually went to our high school. And yes, one of the guys sang the whole thing.

Enjoy! :)

Preparing for med school

I found a blog from a previous med student who suggested taking apart all of their books and 3 hole punching the pages into 3 inch binders. This is convenient so that you do not have to take all of your books everyday to class. Simply take out the appropriate chapters for each book, place them in a "travel binder" and you are good to go with a lighter backpack. Check out her website for some other tips: Medicine From the Trenches.

Picking them up from the print shop

Placing them in the binders.

All of the textbooks transferred into binders.

Things I had to buy to prepare for med school...

- White Coat ($35)
- 2 lab coats ($35 each)
- $900 in books (only the required booklist for first year)
- a $1500 laptop - highly suggested by all medical schools; on campus IT support available for this computer; students take their exams with this laptop; to prepare students for what current doctors are using
- disection kit ($30)
- stethescope ($150)
- $200 worth of shots (and counting)

*Keep in mind you have to buy all of these BEFORE your student loans arrive.

White Coat Ceremony

3,500 applicants, 700 were interviewed, and 200 were accepted

Today was the BIG day!! The first day of med school - The White Coat Ceremony, where each StuDoc receives their first white coat. The length of the coat is shorter, as it represents the status of the Doctor (when he graduates he will receive a longer white coat for residency). We headed to College Station early this morning, met up with his family, and watched this StuDoc walk across the stage! I am so proud! We have grown up together and it was a blessing to see God bring him to where he is today. As we were driving through east Texas we were reminiscing on when we were 18 taking the same route to watch him play football. Who would have thought then that we would be making this drive now? And who knows what life will be like and what blessings we will have when we return in 4 years for his graduation!??

I stayed up late the night before making my husband's favorite dessert and decorating our home to continue the celebration! His family wasn't able to attend, so it ended up just being the two of us. Which was fine and made for a relaxing evening.

I also gave him a gift basket filled with goodies and back to school stuff. It is so hard to plan a surprise for someone you live with! I bought him a new journal, planner, notebooks, binders and a few other things that I ended up having to take back because he came home one day with all this stuff himself. Let's just say "I know him well." The finished basket did have: folders, paper, coffee, tumbler, pens, water bottle, aTm cup, sticky notes, mini hand sanitizer and kleenexes, a sleep mask (for naps during the day), candy, gum, and a few other things I'm forgetting. I also got him a gift certificate for a massage and got his undergrad diploma framed for his office. All my stealth moves this week (sprinting out the door whenever he left for the gym and covering our home in streamers in the middle of the night) paid off because he was definitely surprised!

The keynote speaker gave a speech about being a servant leader - Serving and leading his community. My husband was a born leader and has always found himself in leadership positions. I have no doubt that he will fulfill this role as a Doctor. Equally, he already fulfills this role in our marriage.

Servanthood does not nullify leadership; it defines it. ... Headship is the divine calling of a husband to take primary responsibility for Christlike, servant leadership, protection, and provision in the home.

This Momentary Marriage by John Piper

I am a little bittersweet tonight. I am so happy and proud that he got here and take part in his anticipation for this particular moment. But, I am also a little sad that the time has come and from here on out, well, our lives will never be the same :)

With love,

a very proud wife!!

Expectations

One thing that we learned from our Newlywed group was the importance of setting expectations. Before we got married, our pre-marital mentors asked us to write down expectations for our marriage: finances, love language, in-laws, friends, kids, future, etc. This helped reduce future arguments since we had already resolved them before they occured. We had read another med-school family's blog about this and decided to do this again. To use an example, it was important that I (the StuDoc) tell my wife what my schedule will be like - waking up early to study and going to bed early. I know that her love language is Quality Time and that I need to let her know when I'll be making time for her.

Below are a few things we talked about:
1. Schedule/Study habits
2. Finances and being on a tight budget
3. How often family/friends visit
4. Late night study groups/studying one on one
5. Date night and quality time

Every couple is different, and therefore each expectation is different. Of course, we are now making expectations on what we "think" will be expected. We promised each other we would go over these expectations a month in and see if what needs to change, if any. For example, study habits might need to change to at night instead of morning. But knowing that she could take that negatively and feel like I'm taking away from 'our time' without telling her.

We have been warned that communication is everything and there's no time for avoidable arguments.


Protecting our marriage,
the B's